WARNING: If you are a Trump supporter and think he is a viable candidate for president proceed with CAUTION. If you have no sense of humor, I suggest you STOP reading here and go on to some other enlightening reading. The following is my subjective opinion and is a departure from polite and respectful discourse and is an attempt at the humorous state of our political affairs.
The recent political presidential campaign has brought the old nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty to mind. The reason is obvious because it has the same short “u” sound as one of the presumptive presidential candidates.
Thus, I wondered whether there is some sort of correlation or link between Dumpty and Trumpy. It occurred to me that if I utilized the Trumpy method of reasoning that links various conspiracy theories to his political opposition, then there must be a path that links Dumpty to our beloved Trumpy…..
My first clue that there is a link is found in an excerpt from Lewis Carroll’s story as provided by the Wikipedia page URL: Wikipedia Humpty Dumpty (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humpty_Dumpty)
Humpty appears in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass (1872), where he discusses semantics and pragmatics with Alice.
“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory,’ ” Alice said.
Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t—till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’ ”
“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’,” Alice objected.
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”
“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.”
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. “They’ve a temper, some of them—particularly verbs, they’re the proudest—adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs—however, I can manage the whole lot! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!”
Utilizing the Trumpy deductive reasoning, this is substantial evidence that Dumpty and Trumpy may indeed have something in common. It has been noted by many media outlets and political pundits that Trumpy has little command of the facts and he invents many implausible conspiracies. Thusly, when asked for justification and clarification, the present day Trumpy, in his roundabout way, says what Carroll’s Dumpty says. To borrow from Carroll’s Dumpty’s response to Alice, it is easy to simply deduce that Trumpy “Uses the facts and they mean just what he chooses them to mean – neither more or less.” Trumpy himself has declared that he knows more about things than even the experts who studied a given subject. To follow this line of reasoning further, since Trumpy like Dumpty creates his own meanings, it can also be concluded that reality and truthfulness are not a part of Trumpy’s character traits.
My curiosity then had me wondering about the meaning of the word Humpty. For reference I utilized the dictionary web site with the URL: Dictionary.com Humpty definition (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/humpty?s=t)
The Humpty definition is:
Humpty /ˈhʌmptɪ/(noun): (Brit) a low padded seat; pouffe
Word Origin: C20: from humpty hunchbacked, perhaps influenced by Humpty Dumpty (nursery rhyme)
With this definition I think I know what a low padded seat is, but I needed clarification for pouffe. Again, I utilized the dictionary web site with the URL: Dictionary.com Pouffe definition (http://www.dictionary.com/browse/pouffe?s=t)
Pouf or pouffe [poof] (noun)
1.a high headdress with the hair rolled in puffs, worn by women in the late 18th century.
2. an arrangement of the hair over a pad; puff.
3.a puff of material as an ornament on a dress or headdress.
These two definitions make perfect sense to me and fit my Trumpy reasoning methodology. First of all, Trumpy is certainly a bit over weight. It is therefore very logical to deduce that he has a “low padded seat.“ This follows the Trumpy logic because he did make the declaration during one of his debates that he is more than adequate below the belt. Therefore, it can be concluded that he is more than adequate on both sides of his belt. Now please do not think that I am implying that Trumpy is a “fat ass”; that is for the people to decide when it comes time to vote.
After reading the definition of “pouffe” my Trumpy reasoning brain, (like Trumpy I have a good brain), drew a crystal clear correlation between Dumpty and Trumpy. After all, what is that thing on top of Trumpy’s head? I believe it can be best described as a pouf/pouffe. It surely is an “arrangement of the hair”. When I get up in the morning I comb my hair. It is more or less a fact that Trumpy does not comb his hair, he arranges it.
Another reference web site I utilized was the Urban Dictionary site with the URL: Urban Dictionary: Humpty Dumpty (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=humpty+dumpty)
humpty dumpty:
Having sex with a person and the discarding them in the most expedient manner.
This definition also supports the Dumpty/Trumpy correlation within the Trumpy logic because there are many reports that our beloved Trumpy has “humpty dumptied” his two previous wives and is currently on his third wife. In addition, there are reports that Trumpy has “humpty dumptied” many unsuspecting business partners and even Republican politicians who have attempted to support and legitimize his candidacy.
As I scouted around for more evidence to support my Dumpty/Trumpy parallel, I turned to the web site Politifact; URL: PolitiFact home page (http://www.politifact.com/). This web site illustrates Trumpy’s propensity for Trumpy logic that is alien to facts and truthfulness.
The truthometer results for Humpty Trumpy: URL = PolitiFact Trump Truthometer score (http://www.politifact.com/personalities/donald-trump/ )
True (2%)
Mostly True(8%))
Half True (15%)
Mostly False (16%)
False (40%)
Pants on Fire (19%)
As noted in these results Trumpy’s statements are false 75% of the time. Therefore, the only conclusion one can make is that Trumpy is “choosing the meaning” of the facts as fabricated in his own good brain.
The final phase of my research lead me to the actual Humpty Trumpy poem. This web site, Humpty Dumpty Poem (http://www.rhymes.org.uk/humpty_dumpty.htm), provided two versions of the Humpty Dumpty poem.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses, And all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again!
Alternative Words…
Humpty dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty dumpty had a great fall;
Threescore men and threescore more,
Could not place Humpty as he was before.
Since these poems are old and out of date my good brain Trumpy logic figured it is time to update it with a more current and relevant poem. So I give you this as the new alternative.
Humpty Trumpy lived in a tower,
Humpty Trumpy lied for political power;
Three score lies and three score more,
Humpty Trumpy knows not the truth for sure!
I hope you have a delightful experience today and every day henceforth.
Additional reference web sites:
http://myths.e2bn.org/mythsandlegends/origins1-humpty-dumpty-and-the-fall-of-colchester.html
The Origin of Humpty Dumpty