As I contemplate what Fathers’ Day means for me, there are two veins of thought. The first is being a son and the other is being a father.
Reflections of being a son:
I guess some would say that being born is not necessarily a choice in that a man and woman joined together to combine their DNA and thusly a person is born. Some of us are more fortunate than others in that we are delivered into this existence with a healthy portion of love and care from the adults who joined together. The other concept which has been postulated is that we actually find and chose our parentage. Either way, I either selected wisely or I was quite fortunate.
As I read the tributes dedicated to fathers on Facebook I am not sure I can truly identify or describe my relationship with my father. I noticed all those positive terms such as best friend, rock, mentor, hero, inspiration, admired, compassionate, supportive, loving, caring, kind, generous, and so forth. These and many positive attributes describe my dad. Naturally I think of him often and about the contributions he has made to my personal being. I think about how he persevered through the trials and toils of life. How he dedicated and still dedicates himself to his family and wife, how he still maintains his community spirit, how he continues to nurture his friendships and acquires new ones, how he has witnessed over 9 decades of life and has seen many of his beloved friends and family move on to the next chapter of existence. The combination of these things adds up to a substantial contribution to his children. And for that, I am immeasurably grateful.
As I continue moving through this life there are times when I wonder how my dad did it. And sometimes I remind myself that I need to follow his example and provide for my family, behave in a gentlemanly manner, contribute to my community, nurture friendships, love as best as I can, maintain a grateful heart for all the blessings that life has provided, endure the difficult moments, maintain hope for the future, embrace the present, love and be patient with my family, support others in their ventures, and find humor and joy in as many places as possible.
As I mentioned in the tribute to the mothers in my life, there are many men across all the generations who have made substantial contributions to my being. I became a father later in my life and I learned from my peers the necessary skills of parenthood. In addition, the children themselves have provided lessons of parenting. I was also very fortunate to have taught children in elementary school and learned many parenting lessons from the wonderful children who were part of my life. In fact my recent work as a noon aide has helped me rediscover compassion for others and for this life. It is evident that I have benefited immensely from having my father in my life, and learning the many lessons of compassion from others.
My reflections of being a father:
What is the cultural event we call Father’s Day? Why is it necessary? I for one don’t necessarily need a special day to celebrate my paternity. The gift of my children brings great joy to me on a daily basis. No other gift or accolades can compare to simply being present with a child. There is immense joy watching a child grow and do things such as walk for the first time, read a book, ride a bike, play music, develop friendships, develop personal values, etc. In essence, watching a child develop into a person is beyond compare to any one particular day set aside to celebrate fatherhood.
It is a fact that some of us with paternal links via DNA truly do not deserve such a day of celebration; whereas, there are many men who have performed fatherly duties to children with no shared DNA. To those special dads, I celebrate you!
As a young lad, I never dreamed of being a father. And I was truly honored and quite astonished when I met a woman who loved me enough to want to share life and parenthood with me. For many years I felt like that kid on the playground who was always the last one to be picked for the sports team until finally the mother of our children came along and embraced me in this life.
I have had somewhat of a career, and I have achieved a few minor noteworthy accomplishments, but nothing compares to my sheer delight in being a loving and caring parent. Although I appreciate the one day a year event, it is not necessary for me because I rejoice daily in the wonderful life altering experience of earning the title “dad”.
I know only one thing for sure. I will give my Love, Life, and any worldly possessions to my children unconditionally. Of course there is the hope that my parenting efforts have provided the needed skills and foundation for my children to venture forth throughout this life. I guess time will tell. So I say to you, love your children, and any child for that matter. Love is the greatest gift you can give and essentially all that children need.
What is there to say about me? I am not sure if I am typical or not, average or not, smart or not, BUT I think I definitely have a sense of humor. I am an aging baby boomer wondering if I have something to say about the world as I see it.
fillsmusings 
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